When I was a recent college graduate living on my own, I had a lot of adventures finding a church home. I visited quite a few congregations on my quest to find the best fit. Some were not theologically aligned with my beliefs (back to the United Methodist fold I ran), but often, I was scared away by the rusty invitational and welcoming skills I encountered.
Here’s an opportunity to learn from my experiences. Keep reading to find out what you should and should not do when you see a new face in your church or community.
What NOT to do
As followers of Christ and disciple-makers, we simply cannot do a few things when visitors step into our church doors:
- Do not tell someone to choose another seat because they are in “someone’s pew.” Nothing is less invitational and hospitable than shuffling visitors to a back row, or in my case, a folding chair in the far aisle behind a post.
- Do not hug people so fiercely that they are uncomfortable. This tells them that you are shocked a visitor is among you, which is not a good message. A lot of people value personal space when it comes to strangers, so start with a handshake, eye contact and a smile.
- Do not invite a visitor to sit between you and other family members and then proceed to lean over the visitor to chat with your family throughout the worship service.
- Do not discuss church business, conflicts or grievances with new visitors, less-active members or people outside of your congregation. They will get a negative impression of the entire church and will likely avoid being a part of it.
Yes, all of these things happened to me!
What TO do
Welcoming and inviting is actually pretty simple: Smile, be friendly, invest time and serve as guide. Here are some ways to put those skills into action:
- Pray for your community and ask God to lead you to people who are thirsting for Christ’s love and grace.
- Invite family members, friends, neighbors and others to more than just worship services. Many people are more willing to attend an event, Bible study, concert or small group gathering first.
- Consider where your congregation interacts with the community and meet them there. For example, if your church has a food distribution event, offer an opportunity for prayer as well. Or, if you support a nearby school, show up at every school event with caring words, loving hearts and flyers about church activities.
- Be sure at least one congregant is keeping an eye out for visitors so that they can take extra measures to connect with them and welcome them to your church.
- When you meet a visitor, take time to get to know them. Ask questions about their life and invite them to join you for lunch. Building a friendship shows that you really care and want them to be a part of your supportive community.
- Let visitors know about the many ministries and spiritual growth opportunities your church offers so that they get a full picture of how your congregation is following God’s call.
- Show visitors around the building so it feels familiar. Guide them to the nursery. Show them where the youth gather. Usher them to the fellowship hall for the potluck.
- Introduce visitors to church members who are similar in age or life situation. I became a member at a church at the end of my long search because someone connected me with another young adult, who then showed me where their Sunday school class met. That’s all it took for me to return the following week and get plugged into the community.
Laura Buchanan works for UMC.org at United Methodist Communications. Contact her by email.
This story was published on November 14, 2025.
