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Book Review:
A Month of Sundays

Author:Julie Mars
Publisher: Greycore Press (paperback), 2005
Page Count: 208

By Rev. Dee Dee Azhikakath

Tired of reading how most mainline religions are on the decline? How children brought up in the church do not attend as adults? Julie Mars, a lapsed Catholic, was the quintessential poster child for such patterns. That is, until one life-changing event … well, changed her life and brought her back to church.

Mars, a teacher in Albuquerque, N.M., and author of the novel The Secret Keepers, learned of her oldest sister’s diagnosis of cancer. In a decision teetering between an altruistic compassion for her sister and Mars’ own selfish needs, she went to upstate New York to care for Shirley until her death. But the seven months of care added unexpected layers of intimacy and struggle. Ironically, only when Shirley’s life ended did Mars begin her own quest for life through her grief and questions.

A Month of Sundays is an honest and open-hearted look into Mars’ struggle with death, life and spirituality. Upon the death of her sister, Mars is overwhelmed by two desires: to see people dance and to get to church every Sunday for 31 weeks. It is through these 31 snapshots – a chapter per worship visit – Mars reveals a flashback of raw emotions and events surrounding the death of her sister, and the lessons she learns from each worship experience. Sundays grapples with the “big questions” we all have, or will at some point encounter, but may not have the courage to ask out loud.

It seems odd initially to be taken to church on a spiritual journey by someone who declares on page two that the “church is for believers, not for people like me who are so consumed with doubt.” Then again, John Wesley once said, “Preach faith until you have it, and then preach it all the more.” So, where else do you find faith if not a church?

Shirley, a devout Catholic, seems content with her fatal diagnosis until death grows imminently close and she becomes terrified of going to hell. On sleeping medication, she continually asks for two things: water and God. Despite Mars giving up her “life” to care for Shirley and longing to be wanted during this time, it is God to which Shirley cries out and desires most in her last moments of life. God is the only one who could bring her peace. And this is the same peace for which Mars searches in her grief.

Off to a rocky start with her first church closed, Mars methodically attends church each week, saying that she is seeking her sister. Yet in her quest, her desires are revealed to go much deeper. After attending a Greek Orthodox Church and being challenged to introspection during the season of Lent, Mars recalls a depth of guilt she is carrying. “I don’t know how or who to ask to be forgiven,” she says.

For those with faith, the passage into death can be a time of comfort. Reminiscent of the words of John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” On the other hand, for those without faith like Mars, death can be downright frightening and haunted with questions, uncertainties and guilt. Luckily for Mars, “with Christ all things are possible.” That includes even finding faith when there is none.

At first glance, Sundays appears solely about death and grief. However, as the intensity of emotions is revealed, Sundays is equally about living. It depicts faith as not just to prepare people for death, but to portray how to live. As Mars observes, “Dying and living. Living and dying. Learning that when you are dying, you are living, right up to the moment you are not.”

Sundays reminds us of how simple life can be if we so choose. It reminds how at the most important times of our life, it is not the world that comforts us; it is God, people and our faith in both. While Mars went searching for her sister, it is grace and peace that found her.

The Rev. Dee Dee Azhikakath is a young adult and the associate minister for St. Mark's United Methodist Church in Tucson, Ariz.

This feature was developed by UMC.org, the official online ministry of the United Methodist Church.

Study Questions

1. According to Clifford Geertz, “Religion is a system of beliefs that imbues everyday events with mystical overtones and treats this created world as if it is really real.” Later on, Mars says, “there are only two reasons for religion. One: we invent religion out of fear. Two: we invent religion to express what’s really, really there.”

  • Do you agree with either assessment?
  • How would you define religion?

2. Mars remembers a government pamphlet that said, “Americans ignore the past and live in and for the future, and are oblivious of the present.”
Do you agree?

  • Would Mars advise Americans to live differently? If so, how?

3. Mars desperately seeks some “spirit form of Shirley,” and is jealous when others receive dreams from Shirley when she does not.

  • Do you believe Laurie’s and her fathers’ dreams were a spirit form of Shirley?
  • Have you experienced a spirit form of someone who has died?

4. At the United Methodist Church Mars visited, they sang “I’ll Fly Away” (although not actually listed in the United Methodist Hymnal).

  • Do you agree with the imagery of your spirit flying away at death? If not, what imagery would you use to describe the passage to the afterlife?

5. We often describe someone who has died as someone we’ve “lost.” Mars observes that “when you lose someone they are gone forever.”

  • Is using the word “lost” a good description of someone who has died?
  • What other words or phrases do people use to describe the dead? Are they all accurate in expressing the death of a loved one?

6. Since Shirley was a devout Christian, Mars felt she could get closer to her sister by attending church. Some might say it was her way of processing her grief.

  • How have you mourned someone close to you?
  • Did you have a project of your own?

7. Leroy’s dark prison was alcohol. Mars’ was the pain brought on by her feeling she was unlovable and therefore unloved.

  • What dark prison have you been trapped by, and how have you come to know the grace to set you free?

8. Mentally, Mars objects to a children’s moment and a comment from a child about faith healing her mother.

  • Are these comments healing or harmful for those with incurable diseases?

9. Mars “mentally accuses a wrathful Catholic God.”

  • Does God have different personalities depending on denomination?
  • Do we look for a God who we agree with or one that challenges us?
  • Does it play a role in how we pick a denomination or worship community?

10. Mars attended church as a child and began attending again after her sister died.

  • Do you attend church?
  • How did you first come to attend church?
  • Why do you still come?

Group Activities

Take A Field Trip: Before discussing the book, assign or have people volunteer to visit other churches/faith places. Share observations of this experience. Arrive 30 minutes early and take a picture to share.

Fess Up the Mess: Mars felt she was looking into a “glory hole” on Sunday mornings. Draw, list and/or share with each other what clutters up your own life.

Write Letters to Your Bird: Leroy was Mars’ “bird in the piñon tree.” Take some time to write letters to your “birds in the piñon tree” and share with them what they taught you about grace.

Worship in Remembrance: Invite a pastor to lead a worship service to remember loved ones who have died or may be struggling with a life-changing illness. Bring red carnations to honor those still living and white carnations to remember a loved one that has died this year.

Make a Web: Mars describes her grief as a web with Shirley at the center. Make a web of your own grief (or life), noting all the images and ideas you struggle with in your life, both earthly and heavenly.

Atmosphere

Music: Music induces memories for Mars. Make a CD of all the songs that remind her of her sister or bring about other feelings, such as: I’ll Fly Away, Let There be Peace on Earth, Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole and anything by Billy Holiday. Play it while people are arriving or participating in activities.

Candles: Light candles around the room, and one specifically in the middle labeled “Shirley’s Candle.” Have pens and note cards available for others to label candles in honor of other loved ones.

Carnations: If you are unable to have a worship service (as lived above), have red and white carnations available for people to either wear or take home, remembering mothers present and mothers who have passed away.

Resources
Greycore Press Web site